This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence

Books on marriage are a dime-a-dozen these days, even from a Christian perspective. However, only a handful of books on marriage pass the test of biblical fidelity. John Piper's book, This Momentary Marriage passes both tests.. In fact, it ranks among the best books I've read on marriage to date. Readers familiar with Piper will instantly drawn in to his argument for marriage. Over and over Piper pounds the theme of the book into the ground for maximum effect: The ultimate purpose of marriage is "the display of Christ's covenant keeping grace." To that end, the author develops several items worth mentioning. First, the author grounds his central argument into rich soil by reiterating that marriage is "the doing of God." And in a final sense, "marriage is the display of God." He continues, "The ultimate things we can say about marriage is that it exists for God's glory. That is, it exists to display God ... Marriage is patterned after Christ's covenant relationship to his redeemed people, the church. And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display." And this is the primary reason why divorce is so odious to God: "Therefore, what makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in God's eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and his covenant" (emphasis mine). Second, Piper focuses on the priority of covenant love. Remember the theme of the book that marriage is means to display Christ's covenant keeping grace. Therefore, the author argues that "staying married is not mainly about staying in love. It's about covenant-keeping." The foundation for this covenant-keeping is the rock-solid covenant between people and God. Therefore, Piper continues, "Marriage exists to display the merciful covenant-keeping love of Christ and the faithfulness of his bride." It is here that the book takes an important and decisive turn - for the author shows the relevance of the doctrine of justification by faith alone and how it relates to marriage. Piper adds, " God requires two thing of us: punishment for our sins and perfection for our lives." He continues to describe how the vertical reality of justification must be "bent horizontally to our spouses if marriage is to display the covenant-making, covenant-keeping grace of God." The takeaway is profound: "Let the measure of God's grace to you in the cross of Christ be the measure of your grace to your spouse." This is a perfect example of the Christ-saturated wisdom that permeates the book. Piper continues to give practical advice to husbands and wives throughout the book; advice that is bathed in biblical wisdom; advice that is ultimately rooted in our God who keeps covenant with his people. Biblical headship is discussed - so husbands are encouraged to lead well: "Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home." The husband's leadership involves physical and spiritual protection and physical and spiritual provision.Biblical submission is explored: "Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts." What strikes me about the section on headship and submission is this: in a few short pages, Piper delivers an exegetical bombshell that utterly destroys the prevailing notion of egalitarianism. This God-dishonoring view that sees no distinction between male and female roles is left begging for mercy; tattered and torn in the shadow of Piper's sound exposition. The concluding chapters discuss the permanence of the marriage covenant. In what may be one of the most important statements in the book, Piper suggests that "if Christ ever abandons and discards his church, then a man may divorce his wife. And if the blood-bought church, under the new covenant, ever ceases to be the bride of Christ, then a wife may legitimately divorce her husband. But as long as Christ keeps his covenant with the church, by the omnipotent grace of God, remains the chosen people of Christ, then the very meaning of marriage will include: What God has joined, only God can separate." The author boldly goes where few pastors dare to go by suggesting that remarriage is prohibited so long as the previous spouse is still alive. His arguments are exegetically sound and compelling. Readers who disagree are encouraged to survey the case that Piper presents and prayerfully consider his arguments. This Momentary Marriage is a landmark book. It is a theological landmine that will undoubtedly shatter many preconceived notions about marriage. It is solid food that Christians need to digest. And it is timely ointment that is designed to heal wounds and promote strong marriages in the difficult days ahead. Highly recommended!

In "This Momentary Marriage," John Piper presents a strong, biblically-inspired stand that "Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God (And) ultimately, marriage is the display of God." Not marital advice but a delving into the mystery that Paul alludes to in his lesson about marriage in Ephesians, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5: 32, ESV) I appreciated this book immensely but as I write this review about it, I must offer my belief that it will be appreciated most by a certain audience whereas others may not enjoy it as much. So before, you recommend it to someone, think about how it may resonate with them. Here's the criteria I would use for potential readers: 1) Committed Christian; AND, 2) Holding the (Christian) Bible as an authoritative source of truth; AND, 3) Earnestly exploring God-inspired insight about marriage. Those holding doubts about their, or the, Christian faith but who are earnest truth seekers and open to accepting the Bible as a source of truth may also benefit from this book. Regarding others, I'm not so sure. I offer these audience guidelines because some may see this book as presenting a dogmatic, "hard line" view about marriage, an institution commonly attributed as arising from societal tradition but which Piper presents as originally ordained by God. He starts with a bang in the first chapter to set up what he has to say about marriage: "There never has been a generation whose general view of marriage is high enough," wrote Piper in the first chapter. "I pray that this book might be used by God to help set you free from the small, worldly, culturally contaminated, self-centered, Christ-ignoring, God-neglecting, romance-intoxicated, unbiblical views of marriage." While these are strong words, I believe they represent how Piper unflinchingly draws a line in the sand that challenges readers to elevate their view of marriage above the common discourse underway in the world and even in the church today. Wading deeply into Scripture, texts from 32 of the Bible's 66 books are referenced with each chapter launching from a key Biblical passage. A central theme is that, "The shadow of covenant-keeping between husband and wife (in their marriage) gives way (after death) to the reality of covenant-keeping between Christ and his glorified Church." While marriage is confined to the span of life, God uses it as a pointer to realities found in the next life which is to say that marriage is more than simply a license a couple secures to live out their love in a manner that is societally acceptable. Hence, the book is not so much about marriage as it's about God and Christ and how marriage factors into the plan of redemption for all people, whether or not they marry (and whether or not they are believers!). In just 178 pages, Piper covers a lot of marital territory including all the "hot" topics - romance, sex, headship, submission, childbearing and divorce. His position on divorce will test the mettle of many readers, especially those who have experienced divorce. While he presents sound biblical reasoning for this position, he leave lots of room for mercy and even admits that his view is not commonly held among church or biblical scholars. So to those who may say the book's tone is lacking in grace, I would disagree but also understand that charge. While I was challenged at many turns, I thought Piper offered sound biblical reasoning against which I could compare my own conclusions versus his, pro or con. That's all I can ask of any book. Overall, he succeeded in elevating my view of marriage in a manner I found quite inspiring.

My life as a husband, pastor, and seminary grad has put a number of marriage books under before my eyes. I'm always looking for something to lead couples I counsel through, something to lead my wife through, something to geek-out over. For a number of reasons, this book is the only one I plan to take every pre-marital couple I counsel through, sometimes with the addition of others. Here's why: First, it's short. The chapters are short, and the whole thing isn't huge either. Some people I counsel are great for a longer take, like Kostenberger's work on marriage. But this one doesn't intimidate people who don't love to read, even though it's powerful enough to move a very academic mind. It's like great preaching in that way. Second, it is both clear and powerful. It's natural to sacrifice one for the other, but Piper shows his writing skill well here. Third, it is all about marriage pointing to Christ and the Church, which so many otherwise great books on marriage miss. Piper quotes his wife saying "you can't say that enough," in the book. She's right. Fourth, it gets it so right in so many areas of theology and practical application. I've never agreed more with a marriage book. Fifth, more particularly, this is one of the few books out there that articulates what I believe to be a Biblical view of divorce and remarriage. Finally, Piper has a knack for seeing how people would abuse a text or a truth and diffusing that tendency. He knows the heart well enough to stop us in our tracks. It's a book connecting marriage to Christ and the Church written by a good scholar, a good preacher, and a good pastor. Five stars.

Really good book and I would definitely recommend for others. the bulk of the book is speaking on the biblical purpose behind marriage and how God intended it based on scripture. Also, it speaks on how marriage is something that is temporary while here on earth (not condoning divorce) because it is to point to the true marriage which takes place between Chirst and His church in heaven. Another aspect which Piper speaks on is how we are to be content and glorifying God in marriage and in our singleness. Marriage isn't better than being single nor is singleness better than marriage they are both tools used to glorify God. This book is all about the Glory of God through relationships and what the bible says of how they are intended to look! Great read for those already married for a year or 50 years. Also, I would recommend all singles to read this to determine their motivation behind why they are desiring marriage. READ THIS! This and When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey are the two marriage books that are a must read prior to making that commitment. My wife and I have not come across a better resource in speaking on; biblical dating, biblical marriage, singleness, children, sex, leadership, headship, and submission.

So first off I will say that Piper did a great job with this book, but like any fallible human: “there is no perfect human work/book.” I wanted to list some pro’s & cons for “This Momentary Marriage”. Then I will speak a little more on this review. PROS: 1.) Insightful & accurate portrayal of marriage from the biblical texts. 2.) A high view of the sacredness of marriage & covenant keeping. 3.) John Piper helped me to see singleness in a new light, which was helpful. 4.) The chapters were not long most of the time. 5.) Sex was including as a chapter which was helpful because it’s such a complicated thing now a days biblically speaking. (I’d recommend a commentary on Corinthians if you want to learn better). 6.) Submission & Headship were accurately explain in my opinion, which is needed when understanding biblical roles in marriage. 7.) The Chapter on how to lead as a Father(I’m a single, young man right now) was very touching & helpful to me, to learn how to deal with children biblically. CONS: 1.) John Piper had some sections in various chapters(though not all) where he was too repetitive & it made retention harder. 2.) This book NEEDED an entire chapter regarding abusive “Christian” husbands, & what to do; since Piper upholds Marriage until death(like I do), but abuse cannot be tolerated. {I’m still developing my own theology of marriage & divorce} 3.) I wish Piper spent more time on explaining things in this book, there are certain portions where more explanation is needed. (Hard to understand area’s of thought, biblical texts, etc) 4.) I wish he had other pastors & teachers review theological discussion within the book (he might have, IDK), to refine its contents a little more. (Like add more teachers commentary on certain perspectives of marriage, divorce, abuse, argument handling, cheating, etc.) 5.) I wish Piper would have given extended commentary on Deuteronomy 24 in regards to divorce, he mentions it, but not in a sufficient way IMO. I hope John Piper updates & revises this book, which was apparently released the same year I got saved: 2012. MY COMMENTARY ON THIS BOOK: I really enjoyed this book & would encourage other Christians to buy & read it completely. I would say this book is overall solid; and while I might disagree I’d have suspicion on some of what Piper wrote or what he didn’t include, I would argue that this book was worth my time & money. I especially wanted to read this as a future marriage hopeful, despite the terrifying fact that it seems to me that God wants me to be single, which I protest. This book has helped me see marriage in a better light biblically & has helped me to appreciate the possible Avenue of singleness better. As far as what Piper could have added (handling abuse, handling arguments, etc) I hope other books out there can give me a better biblical perspective to know what to do. One thing I know from scripture in relation to what Piper said about staying married to a new spouse while the old was still living… it would appear that Scripture says God put away King David’s sin after he commuted adultery with Bathsheba. (Which doesn’t justify adultery, or murder) but Piper mentioned that those who remain married to the new spouse while the old are still living - makes me think Piper is right to assume they are not committing perpetual adultery. (I could be wrong on this) but his argument was eye opening. My basis for such an understanding is from: (2 Samuel 12:7-15). See especially: ”So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.” (Romans 6:1) !!!

This book is exactly what every single person needs to read, I heard it on a recommendation from the living Walter's podcast and picked it up period I would recommend it because of it's typical core and foundation first approach in explaining the meaning of marriage and reiterating it for men like me. I believe it points the reader to the high standard that God expects to see in Godly marriages in His word. It answered most of the questions that came to mind while reading.

Unlike most marriage books today, this book begins by addressing the larger issue, which is Christian discipleship - learning to obey the commands of Christ to die to self and live lives of obedience to Him. When the heart issues are addressed, the love of Christ is given a free channel out to others, beginning with one's spouse. Piper addresses the root concept of marriage as a parable of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. He encourages the reader to get beyond popular culture, which puts self at the center of attention, and to see marriage as God's idea, created by Him for His glory. Even so, the book is intensely practical. Biblical themes such as covenant-keeping, covenant love, forgiveness, forbearance, headship, submission, humility, and grace are addressed and give hope that through the power of Christ, marriage can be wonderful and singleness a privilege of great blessing as well. Children, divorce, sex, and discipleship are also covered. I recommend this book not only to married people, but also singles and engaged couples.

This book outlines God’s standard and expectations for marriage. I love how it breaks down covenant and why it’s so important to God. Understanding that it’s more than a piece of paper, it’s a legal contract, obligation, and promise to your spouse and God. I have literally been recommending this book to newlyweds, oldyweds, singles and engaged couples. Getting married with God’s design in mind sets another level of expectation, and deepens the experience when you understand that your marriage is physical extension and manifestation of our relationship with God. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!

This is a powerful book filled with biblical truth. I am getting married in 6 months and I want to read this book again before I get married and every year after! Great theology of marriage. Sometimes hard to stick with it but so worth it.

Best book I've read about biblical basis of Christian marriage and complimentary responsibilities of husband and wife. John Piper is a deeply spiritual and experienced author, pastor and speaker. I highly recommend this book to all Christian couples for the benefits it can bring. Book was in better condition and delivered earlier than advertised.

Mi libro favorito. De los mejores de Piper.

Presents a clear picture of biblical marriage rooted in scripture

Nota-se diferença na qualidade do papel, principalmente da capa, em comparação com os primeiros que comprei.